To The Family Who Lives Behind Me

No matter how many times you say it, with umpteen different types of inflection, with anger, with baby-talk or with something in between, telling your dog to go *peepee* 50 times is not going to inspire it to do so.

Neither cajoling nor threatening, pleading nor negotiating will work.
Your dog doesn't speak English. Nor Spanish, and likely not even Portuguese.
The Dog Whisperer is on the Discovery Channel. Daily.
Watch it.
Your dog will thank you.
And so will I.